CrystalEternity

It's 5:27 am.

I'm still on Florida time, I suppose and I am going to go to bed once I've finished this. Heh. You know me, stay up 'til the morning on the internet and sleep through the rest of it...I dislike mornings so I do my best to avoid them. Only two weeks left until uni takes over my life and can I just say THANK GOD. My sanity doesn't cope well with not having some definite point to my life.

I really want some alcohol, I've been in that backwards land where I'm not legal to drink for the last two weeks. Tomorrow (um...when I get up) or maybe Monday I'm definitely checking to make sure my red wine hasn't gone off. Hmm...maybe I should drink it all, my student loan comes through in a month and when it does I'm off to get myself some Captain Morgan and a couple of bottles of red wine. Then I will hide them in my cupboard and avoid actually drinking them because most of the time, one of my friends will get drunk and buy more alcohol for everybody. We joked that we're gonna get him drunk at the start of the term and take him to the off-license so we can get a large alcohol supply for free.

I AM SO BROKE I NEED MONEYS

It's just as well my wardrobe is about to explode with clothes and that all the books I need for my courses this year are at the library because I can't actually afford to buy anything other than food. It's just as well that pasta comes in huge 60-something p bags and that I'm a very cheap drunk.
It's just as well that I'm already in the habit of switching off all the lights when I leave the room because my bills are gonna have to be LOW.

ANYWAY

My holiday was cool, I read less than two chapters of Ulysses which means I have two weeks to read that AND all the other books I have to read before the partying begins and slackerdom and "I can't be arsed to read it" attitudes start. I always mean well, I'm always like "I'm gonna read next weeks stuff right after this weeks seminar" but what actually happens is that I walk out of the seminar room, go home, eat, then go to sleep so I have more energy for going out and dancing to dire music of direness all night.

Thankfully Tropical Storm Ernesto was just a lot of rain and lightning and not very much wind so we survived and got back in time, which was about quarter to nine this (yesterday) morning.

Highlights of the holiday include:

• My four-year-old cousin deciding on the first day before we'd even left Britain that we were twins - because we both have long hair

• My sister's hilarious comments which included "I think it'll go with my hairy shoes!" when we saw a pair of shoes in the Nine West outlet which had hairy heels (YES. HAIRY HEELS. The rest of the shoe was normal but the heels were covered in hair. W. T. F?)

• Filming our own version of Cribs which didn't turn out as good as we intended, we forgot to put on every bit of jewellery that we owned and go on about our bling throughout, but it was still fun.

Lowlight of the holiday:

• Getting hit on by Disney characters. Disney characters of the non-human variety.

Tiredness is suddenly descending upon me and I have this curious urge to go to bed. So goodbye and I will get ready for sleep and think of all the things I wish I could buy but can't because I don't have the money, like mini-top-hats and corsets and the Emilie Autumn double CD album which came out today (yesterday) (but I'll probably get that anyway).

xx

-E

(it's 5:49 pm. SLEEEEEEEEEP)

P.S. please, still don't get me a print. Accomodation from uni are not forwarding my mail. I spoke to them and they're returning everything to sender! The swines! Ah well, you weren't gonna get me a print anyway

just a cute curvaceous "B"
But the boob fairy never came for me.

Ladies, download that (^) song. For serious. Deirdre Flint is awesome. I have to admit I found her through knitting podcasts. But I am not ashamed. JoshClarkeDraws laughed at me for listening to knitting podcasts . Clearly, he does not appreciate what useful weapons knitting needles are*.

Anyway. What have I been doing? Listening to knitting podcasts, taking advantage of the speed with which things dry in the warmer weather (although it's gone a bit cold now) and doing lots of painting stuff and papier-macheing stuff, oh, I visted the library the other day, and I've watched a few films.

And Channel 4. Those bastards. I was totally off Big Brother after Nikki had been evicted. It was just boring! I watched Big Brother's Big Mouth to keep up with Russell Brand's running jokes, but I had little desire to watch the main show. Now, the public gets to vote four of the ex-housemates into the House Next Door. YESSSSSSSS! You would think I would be glad that my life no longer revolves around the television, but Nikki is so pricelessly funny that I'm delighted at the possiblity that she could go back in. I want to see more tantrums! More eye-rolling and muttering of "black girl wannabe" when referring to the ridiculous Aisleyne (just imagine Christina Aguilera spliced with a chav and a personality that changes every week and a half, increasing in annoyingness each time)! More demands! More hilarious faces pulled in the diary room!

The swines! And there, I've written an entire paragraph about Big Brother. I should go now. To bed. Yesss. To daydream briefly about what I would do if I had spare money, which is:

a) buy a decent microphone
b) buy yarn
c) buy craft books

In fact, I don't even particularly want to do the last, I can wait until Xmas for 'em. It's just that I am dying to a) and b) because I need to get practise podcasting and I need to knit. NEEEED. I tried to knit a scarf today out of the scraps of yarn I've got...I ran out. AFTER 42 ROWS. IN RIB. ARGH. SO MUCH WASTED EFFORT. And my hands ache.

Anyways. To bed I go.

-E
xx






_{*most knitting needles. Bamboo ones would probably not make very good weapons. But I only have metal needles}

P.S. please, still don't get me a print. Accomodation from uni are blatantly not really forwarding my mail and you don't want random spanish people to get my prints. Really.

See this-



That was my entry to the balance contest. I came third. Woe, there was no prize. Please go comment and stuffs, I submitted it when I wrote it and then put it into storage immediately.

Now, who wants to win a corset? Or win me a corset? You know you want to.

In other news, I am really really tired and going to bed now.

E
xx

P.S. More features coming soon!

I walked downstairs to get a drink of water, and as I got to the front door I saw that mail had arrived.

I picked it up and carried it to the kitchen, noticing that the large envelope had my name and address on it. I also noticed that it was from university. Sighing, I recalled that so far this holiday I had recieved the following from university:

student loan stuff
a survey
a confirmation of pay thing (from when I worked open day)
a payslip (also from when I worked open day)

However I was sure that there was also something else I'd recieved and forgotten about. Probably more financial stuff.

Anyway, seeing as I had already received pretty much everything else they could be sending me (except for my accomodation deposit and maybe another survey or FIVE), I concluded that the possibility of this envelope containing my results was very, very high.

Carefully I opened the envelope from the top in case I would need the envelope again to put a fake set of results in. I peered down until I saw the line:

"Following your recent examinations" Recent? One of them was in January! Maybe recent compared with the Queen's Coronation- "I am pleased to inform you that you are eligible to proceed to the next year of your programme,"

Immediately I started to scream with delight and dance around like a deranged, but happy, monkey. With really long limbs. Looking at the second sheet I discovered that not only did I not get below a 2:2, but bizarrely, my best marks (2:1s and a First) were in Media!

WTF? WTF? WTFFF?

Media? But I hate Media! I suck at Media! I wrote an especially crap essay about Buffy the Vampire Slayer! But I got a First for it! Well, I thought it was crap. Considering what I could have done if I'd not left it until the two days before to do! Clearly my Buffy fangirldom has come in very very handy.

excitedly mine,
E
xx

Yawn. I went noodle bar today with schoolfriends then to noisy pub with bands and skanky blonde singing over backing track. Dire PA. I go sleep now. You enjoy features.

a spree, a spree, a featuring spree...once again, my favourites from my watchlist will be featured.

:thumb24879301: :thumb24817166: :thumb24823926: :thumb24773760: :thumb24516382: :thumb24312530: i knowmovie theater music, previews
of penguins. we are the only
young lovers in a sea of old
couples. you smile at me like
we are a secret in red velvet
seats, something they cannot
understand.
but i can feel their eyes. i wonder
if the grey-haired man behind us
has always loved the blue-eyed
woman next to him, if they met when
she was sixteen, if their kisses
were electricity, if their love
was like ours.
your cheek presses against mine
as we watch the screen, but i feel
the audience has their eyes on
us instead. are they blushing when
we touch? are they smiling when we
laugh? are we their lives, are we
their memories?
when the movie is over, i look at
you and your eyes are sparkling with
leftover movie-screen light. the
blue-eyed woman stands to leave with
her husband. she smiles at me and
her twinkling eyes silently say,
"i know." :thumb24250704: Circular Motion
Are these threads made to reach down
And tangle around frustrated heart strings?
Or is thoughtlessness just mere emptiness
As this remains to you?
Dreadful to think eyelids lay heavy
As my only source of inspiration brings pen
To paper once more,
Am I hopeless in endeavor?
Do I fail at every turning?
How can such imperfection be my only target
In this endless road I'm treading?
Taking one step forward and two steps back,
Odd how the only thing making life a chore has
To be this, has been this and will be this.
Strange how I can feel so much about so little,
And make it last a lifetime in my imagination,
Each passing thought on the subject a crushing weight that
I can't lift and is impossible to crawl from under.
Weird that memories flash from more than one time
Sparking blackouts in sight and feeling.
To tear and rip would be too easy, but to tug
With invisible arms is far worse, though you don't realise it.
Matter is not what I'd give, only my own stupid frustrations,
that get concoct AddictionNeed more
gotta have it
backwards,
my underwear's
on backwards,
granola bar maybe
5 or 6 then
where do I go again?
Big rectangle
teaches me how to
live without it,
how to get a
job to pay for it,
once I'm a working
man ladies will
come through the
haze and drive their sparkling spikes through me and it will be good because I have all I
need.
Powders, dusts
like in the hallway,
tried some once
people laughed
at me, their laughter
sounded nice
but almost broke my
head. Burning little
sticks like the ones
that beat on the
snakeskin like an
Arab prisoner of war,
but these are tan
and mine aren't
yet, but they will be
once I light up and
control the world, my IDE to pull things apart with my all-knowing
gaze.
Won't make it
gotta have it
backwards,
my life's on
backwards, I'm
almost a lawyer
because it's three
weeks until the prom
that I'll miss,
studying hard
to pay for my
thrills that keep me above the ground otherwise I'm buried in headaches and papers and –
rehab. :thumb23864695: :thumb23589115: :thumb24084482: :thumb22970325: :thumb35475214: :thumb23075175: No-Armed GirlOpen eyes
when windows close
tonight is your night in
open books
and pour the wine
and stop believing sin
So what about
the no-armed girl
who's looking for a fight
so what about
the no-armed girl
who doesn't want to stay home
tonight
Some poor souls
don't stop to care
they live the word "perhaps"
they light the signs
and paint the town
a monochromatic relapse
So what about
the no-armed girl
the softest coldest light (softest coldest light)
what about
the no-armed girl
who doesn't want to stay home
tonight
What about
the loneliness
that you neglect to feel
when you don't stop
to look around
that's another smile you steal
But what about
the no-armed girl
who sees in black and white
what about
the no-armed girl
who gives up on her sight
So what about
the no-armed girl
who wonders, is this right?
so what about
the no-armed girl
who isn't going to sleep
tonight Scribbling at 10:08Dissonant silence
I don't mind too much
He can be free Rising Fallen, Numb to Plum
Soft curtain
leaves its post
brushes my cheek
(no match)
I search a plum dusk
though it is dawn
the heart-shaped sky
sliced by persevering oaks
not yet green
hoping
(as they do)
for October morning's light
Clock reads early
it's too late
nothing glows
but all is more vivid
than I
Rising
like a zombie
I was dreaming of life
So often I swiftly
                                forget
my nighttime aspirations. :thumb30416340:

DO NOT BUY ME A PRINT

You weren't going to anyway, but don't, because it's got my old address and accomodation at college will probably demand I go pick it up or pay extortionate postage for them to pass it along. Save any impulsive/drunken print buying for September, when it will be updated with an address that works. I know, you can't really save an impulse. Just try, K?

-E
xx

ZZZzzzzzz...